Amman, Jordan - March 3, 2008

On Saturday morning, members of the reddit internet website woke up to the fresh and - at the time somewhat dubious - news that the Saudi Arabian ambassador had been SMS'ing all fourteen of his friends warning them to get out of the country as soon as possible, inshallah. Thousands of furious clicks later, what started as unsubstantiated rumor has developed into armed conflict the likes of which will keep the internet abuzz for at least another fifteen to twenty-five minutes.

Many newcomers to this ancient and unique city find themselves initially fascinated in a somewhat morbid manner with techniques employed in driving. This paper was compiled with the express intent of easing the Cairo novice into the driver's seat, mainly through a brief discussion of some of the less orthodox strategies currently in employ in the guise of a list of pointers.

Cairo traffic jamIt is the author's hope that this list will also serve as an acceptable refresher for the grizzled veteran; carnage takes practise after all. But onwards.

If you've been following any reputable news source over the last few months, you'll know nothing about the fact that I released my debut novel "The Banjo Players Must Die" into the wild armed only with a Creative Commons license in August.

A day or two ago, this novel rounded 4,000 downloads between archive.org, memoware, manybooks, and scribd.

For the first time, the truth about the monumental cock-up that is Doomsday is revealed. Centuries of sloppy research and abysmal story telling skills converge to bring you "The Banjo Players Must Die", an account of celestial incompetence and molested rodents. Oh, and a lot of boobs.

The Banjo Players Must Die!: Book coverA new novel, Creative Commons licensed, which could have been written by fifteen monekys given about two weeks with well oiled typewriters.

Celebrate the release of my first novel, if you must, by expressing outrage and indignation that the innocent term "novel" has been sullied so.